Twitter users offer post-Cruise advice for Katie Holmes!/TMZ/status/219837188660150274

She filed for divorce from Tom Cruise just three days ago, but already Katie Holmes is getting plenty of advice, courtesy of Twitter. TMZ asked Twitter users to offer their words of wisdom using the hashtag #IfIWasKatieHolmes.

Some of the responses were serious:

#IfIWasKatieHolmes I never would have married Tom in the first place. Huge age difference + Scientology devotion = disaster.

— lindsay kustich (@lindsaykustich) July 2, 2012

#ifiwaskatieholmes I'd take half because I know he will make it right back @tmz

— Eye Candy Atlanta (@eyecandyatlanta) July 2, 2012

#IfIWasKatieHolmes I would of reprised my role of Rachel for The Dark Knight.

— karin abcarians. (@DANGER_karin) July 2, 2012

Naturally, this being Twitter, there was a super-sized portion of snark, too:

#IfIWasKatieHolmes is what Katie Holmes has been thinking for the last five years

— Ramon Febus (@RamonFebus) July 2, 2012

#IfIWasKatieHolmes i would try and get my 20's back

— Motherfuckin Thereza (@trendydiddster) July 2, 2012

#IfIWasKatieHolmes I'd immediately burn my Scientology cloak!

— Zap Beauty Spa (@ZapBeautySpa) July 2, 2012

#IfIWasKatieHolmes I'd head to the Bible Belt, that's a no fly zone for Scientologists..

— _Kori_Moe_ (@THE_Diva_No5) July 2, 2012

@TMZ #IfIWasKatieHolmes I would apologize to @iamchrisklein.

— Maria Haddox (@marisolhaddox) July 2, 2012

Actor Chris Klein and Holmes were engaged but broke up in 2005.

#IfIWasKatieHolmes I'd reconnect with a man who's the the same height!

— Kandyse Kane (@KandyseKane) July 2, 2012

@TMZ #IfIWasKatieHolmes I would try to get Pacey back…

— Cassie (@Cassafras211) July 2, 2012

That’s a reference to “Dawson’s Creek,” the TV show that made Holmes a star.

@TMZ #IfIwasKatieHolmes I would contact the creators of South Park and tell them EVERYTHING and let them make the best episode EVER.

— mike braswell (@mikeb731) July 2, 2012

#IfIWasKatieHolmes I'd hire Alec Baldwin as my bodyguard. #punchapap

— The Packer Laker (@GBWIHamINFoodie) July 2, 2012

And finally, a suggestion that has a nice hint of closure to it, given Cruise first proclaimed his exuberant feelings for Holmes by using Oprah’s couch as a trampoline:

Go on Oprah. Jump on couch. #IfIWasKatieHolmes

— Andrew Marriott (@marriotta) July 2, 2012

Be well, Katie. Looks like the Twitterverse has your back.

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